Mental illness still remains to be the silent killer that takes the lives of many throughout the world. While most people are encouraged to outwardly discuss their physical diseases, such as cancer or heart disease, if you are suffering from a mental disorder, then society tells us not to say anything because to put it simple "you look crazy". I am one of those private sufferers, who just woke up one day and decided to let whoever reads this know and understand that mental illness is not a personal fault, nor is it something that people should be penalized for. I mainly suffer from bipolar disorder, but I also have issues with having serious panic attacks. As far as I have been told, I am an individual who looks normal and happy. But sometimes people are not able to see the truth that lies behind living with a sickness, especially one that they are not able to see.
So, what is it like to live my life? A roller coaster. Most days I wake up in the morning hating that I am here for yet another day, simply because I can get severely depressed to the point where waking up feels like a punishment. There have been times where my illness has left me curled up in a ball, unable to live a decent life or work, but wishing to God that he would make me happy and take away all of the hurt, pain and loneliness. For years, I have been a prisoner to something that is not my fault. I have visited specialists consistently with little to no results. Many believe that some people are beyond help, so they try to stick you on as many medications as possible because it is the "only" way. No matter who you are, suffering from a mental disorder can make your life appear worthless and lonely, simply because there are few people who are willing to share their personal experiences and when they do, they are ostracized even more.
In this life, we have choices. We can either choose to let the circumstances define who we are, or we can rise above it and use our hurt and pain as a way to help others who are desperately seeking knowledge and help for the way they feel. Choosing to keep your personal problems to yourself is not a crime. But I do encourage those who may be suffering from a lifelong mental illness to seek professional help. And if you know someone who is going through this, whether they are living with it or witnessing it, try to have compassion. Living on either side of a mental disorder is extremely difficult for all who are involved. Thus, it is mainly kept a shameful secret. So, today, I am writing and publishing this as an effort to enlighten people. I hope to be able to save at least one person who is contemplating suicide and does not want to live anymore because they are private sufferers. In the midst of this, I am prepared that people will be negative and hurtful towards me, but it is something that I am finally willing to do, just to reach one person to let them know that they are not alone and that everything WILL be okay.
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