#5.
GOALS IN LIFE!
Marriage is about bringing two lives into one. Although there are only two people within a relationship, it is important to talk about what each of your expectations are in life. If one of you plans to move to another country after they finish school or get a promotion, this may not work very well for a small town girl or guy that wants to stay close to their hometown. Also, it is highly imperative that both people within a relationship discuss if they want children or not. It is not as important "when" you both decide to have children; that can be compromised. However, the decision to have or not should be mutual. NEVER marry a person and expect them to change. The only thing that will change if you do this, is your relationship....
#4.
HOW MUCH DEBT
THEY ARE IN!
After marriage, there may suddenly be two incomes but, the amount of money your future spouse is making is not as important as how he or she understands the responsibility of money. The way a person relates to money is a good indicator of how responsible they are with everything else. It takes more then love to make a marriage work. It involves accepting the challenges and character flaws of another person. If you are not willing to voluntarily help your future spouse get their head straight about money, you may want to put a halt to the wedding.
SIDE NOTE: Ladies, it is not enough for your future husband to always be "looking" for a job. HE SHOULD HAVE ONE! It is better to live a long term life with a man who works a fast food job, than a man who works nothing.
#3.
WHY SO MANY PREVIOUS
MARITAL BREAK-UPS?
If your future partner was married once, maybe they have a valid excuse. Perhaps they were very young and silly and the relationship did not work out. However, a person who has had multiple marriages and appears to have been with several relationships in the past is probably someone you may not want to marry. This is not because they are a bad person, but simply because a person who makes commitments and does not fulfill them MULTIPLE times, will probably not remain loyal and committed to you. When most people marry, they say "til death do us part." If you or your partner were constantly in relationships that ended abruptly, at some point you have to look at the common denominator....YOU!
#2.
WHAT IS THEIR FAMILY LIKE?
"The apple doesn't fall from the tree...or does it? This is not necessarily the truth but we all bring a part of how we were raised into our current relationships. It is never required to suddenly become best of friends with your future in laws, but it is always nice to meet his or her family and see where your significant other came from. Believe it or not, this is a part of caring about another person. Until you make the effort to know a person's past, you are not ready to become their future.
#1.
WHAT KIND OF
COMPANY THEY KEEP?
Do they hang out with people who enjoy clubbing, going to the bar, church folks? Who does the love of your life enjoy being with the most? There is not much to expand on this except to say that with counseling and time you can get through any of the hurdles listed above. Unfortunately, this is a deal breaker. If your partner does not spend most of his time wanting to be around you BEFORE you get married, don't expect that to change AFTER you get married. This is not suggesting that your soon to be spouse should not have friends. Friends actually offer a well balanced life. Just make sure that balance is more slanted towards your relationship.
For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh (Genesis 2:24)."
Written By: Te-Shandra Haskett, MBA
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