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Why you dislike your postpartum body and how to embrace it.

If you have had a baby and you do not like your postpartum body then you are not alone. Most women struggle to accept their postpartum body.  But have you ever wondered "why."" "Why do we dislike our postpartum body?" Why is it so hard to accept the difference?" "Why do so many women opt to change it through surgery or other ways that are advertised ?" Below are some of the top reasons why you hate your postpartum body. 5.  Your clothes don't fit the same After you have a baby, oftentimes your clothes  will not fit. Whether you are 6 weeks postpartum or 10 years, your clothing may never fit exactly the same, regardless of how much weight you lose. As a result some women may start to feel like a stranger in their own body. They may not know what clothes will flatter them anymore or how to find new clothes that look great on them. This can lead women to dislike their body. 4. You feel judged by others It is no secret that we live in an era wher


In reality, no one is "truly" ever going to be prepared for the responsibility, dedication and hard work that it takes to raise a child. However, there are times where the decision to bring a child into this world can be made out of pure selfish reasons and it can significantly destroy your life and hurt your unborn child. While there may be no "perfect" time, there are "wrong" reasons.

"Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward
 (Psalm 127:3)."


One day you wake up and all of a sudden your best friend is pregnant. Then, so is everyone it seems. And now, you are ready to suddenly have a baby because everyone else is doing it and they are super happy and excited. They have something you do not and you feel left out. So, you decide to become a part of the parent group and have one of your own.
This is a complete no no. Having a child is a huge responsibility and the decision should NEVER be based on how many people are with child. Keeping up with the Jones' on child birth is not a wise decision. Each one of us have different paths. If your friends and everyone appears to be giving birth, that does not mean that at this moment, you need to follow in their footsteps.

"We do not dare to classify or compare ourselves with some who commend themselves. When they measure themselves by themselves and compare themselves with themselves, they are not wise
(2 Corinthians 10:12)."

At this point, you need to acknowledge that "yes" there are plenty of people starting a family, but at the same time, there are many who are choosing to wait. Never look at your life and suddenly think that you are missing something because you do not have what you "perceive" as everyone else having.
It is very common for new parents to talk about the joys of being a parent, simply because it is "new" to them. Many people try to not outwardly show the stress of having a child. They manage to conveniently leave out all of the sleepless night stories and the childhood drama. Like everyone else, they want you to believe that their life is "perfect"; this includes their family.

It is easy to fall into the trap of "I want what they have" if the only thing your friends and family showcase is pure joy, but there is a huge responsibility and a lot of issues they choose not to share.

BOTTOM LINE: You are never the only person in your "situation." Human beings have strong tendencies to see only the things that we do not have. Take another look around, this time at yourself. What do you want and when? Parents who conceive for this reason, often have an enormous reality check, when they realize that parenting is not easy. 

Change your view of reality. NEVER COMPARE YOUR LIFE OR ALLOW YOUR FAMILY TO PRESSURE YOU! Unless they are prepared to pay financially, it is not their choice. Some decisions are personal and should remain between husband and wife; this is one of many.

"Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure,
 for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral
 (Hebrews 13:4-6)."

I am sooo jealous of....
Causes of Jeaousy and how to overcome!


No one loves you so you figure having a child is the unconditional form of love and it will satisfy your emptiness and loneliness. Sorry, it ain't gonna happen. Children seek love and attention. Although they give it freely, having a child will NEVER fill the emptiness within your heart. If you are feeling unloved, your problems run much deeper and the best thing that any person who feels this way can do, is to start loving themselves FIRST!

 YOU ARE NEVER ABLE FULLY TO LOVE ANYONE UNLESS YOU LOVE YOURSELF FIRST! It is imperative that you find out why you do not love yourself BEFORE you choose to bring another life in this world. The feeling of worthlessness is highly contagious and although you try to hide those feelings from your child, they can easily pick up on those emotions and start to feel the same way towards themselves.

BOTTOM LINE: Tell yourself you are beautiful and if necessary seek help. Not loving or respecting yourself can lead to other serious problems that are not associated with starting a family.
  • Depression
  • Getting into abusive relationships
  • Treating other people the way you feel, destroying pertinent relationships
  • Drug abuse
  • Engaging in risky sexual activities, using sex to gain "love."
SIDE NOTE: Feelings of not being loved often stem from previous or current parental issues.
  • Lacking a father/mother figure
  • Abusive parents, physically or emotionally
  • Accepting criticism from multiple people
  • Being an in abusive relationship

Find a Good Therapist!
He loves you, he loves you not..Does he love you?


Fixing a marriage should "never" involve having a baby as a solution. Babies can bring relationships closer, but only if that partnership was healthy in the beginning. Children do not fix marriages, in fact, because of all the added stress and dependency it can actually escalate problems and destroy your relationship. Divorce is never the child's fault, but rest assure, an added person will not fix your problems.

BOTTOM LINE: If you can not handle one person, what makes you think you can handle another? No relationship is flawless, but, you should be able to tolerate your loved one being in the same room first...After all conception of a child does involve some sort of "physical" contact.

Warning signs your marriage is in trouble!
5 Simple things that can improve your marriage!


The trap game. Girl gets pregnant, boy feels obligated to marry you.


There is no way to keep a man who does not want to be with you. Eventually, he will leave, either before, during or after the child is born. And if you have a second one with him, well, let's just say HE STILL WILL NOT MARRY YOU....

Why do you feel the need to "trap" someone to marry you? A person should have more self-esteem and realize that choosing to be with someone who only wants to be with you out of "obligation" is selling yourself short. If he or she does not want to "marry" you, this does not make you a bad person or unlovable, it just means you were lucky enough to figure it out before having a child with them.

If a man (or woman) is unable to make the "ultimate" commitment to you, DO NOT EXPECT THEM TO REMAIN COMMITTED TO YOUR UNBORN CHILD! There are many cases where the situation is opposite, the guy tells the woman that he wants her to be the mother of his child. This is a sweet gesture, but it would be even sweeter if he asked for your hand in marriage first.

Top excuses men use not to marry you!
Ending a relationship with someone who does not desire to be committed to you is a must. Choosing to have a child with a person who does not reciprocate your feelings is a disaster waiting to happen.

"He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the LORD

 Decision making Tools!


When a woman (or man) announces they are expecting, it is usually accompanied by a lot of congrats and attention. Sadly, many people get themselves in this situation because they are looking for their moment of love and attention.

What people fail to understand is that the attention that you are receiving from your "new" or "unborn" child, will go away. Until you have another...

Seeking to add to your family solely for personal attention, is considered narcissistic behaviour. A parent should never use an innocent child believing that their image will be respected more.

BOTTOM LINE: A child needs your undivided attention. They will eventually catch on to a deceitful person, including neglectful parents.


"Why not have a child now?
You will never have enough money anyways...right?"

If you can not pay the following....

  • Mortgage

  • Food/Water

  • Rent

  • Electricity

  • Anything that you need....

You should not be preparing to start a family.

The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and discipline
(Proverbs 23:9)."

BOTTOM LINE: Be careful who you take your advice from. It is highly possible that the person who is struggling financially will quickly tell you this. You may never be able to afford "everything" your child wants or needs, however, you should at least be able to keep your electricity on before you add another person into the household. Severe financial problems destroy marriages.

 “But if anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever
(1 Timothy 5:8)."


Cost of raising a child per year, by state calculator!
Tips on financial foolish decisions!

Are you jobless? Tips right here!



Factors that contribute to teenage pregnancy
  • Lack of education
    • Minorities and people of a "lower" economic status are at a higher risk.
  • Dropping out of school
  • Experiencing personal child abuse (physical or emotional)
  • Unprotected Sex
  • Drug/Alcohol abuse
  • Television shows providing "extra" attention to teen moms.


What teenager starving for immediate attention would not be influenced by the reality shows that can make them grace the front of every major celebrity magazine in America?

 Each of these magazines are featuring the teen moms on the front cover, including People. On the far right, each one of the magazines have smaller pictures of Brittany Spears, Sandra Bullock, Halle Berry and Prince William and Kate Middleton.

 Let's not forget the importance of a celebrity reunion!

Additional factors that contribute to teenage pregnancy:
A child should never raise a child. If you are a teen, never be in a rush to grow up. It will happen soon enough. Regardless of how intelligent you may be, you are still a teenager and most likely are still dependent on someone else. Independent is more than just being able to make your own decisions, it also includes being able to make responsible choices i.e. not becoming pregnant as a child. When you are a parent, you suddenly have added responsibilities and someone who is dependent on you. You are forced to "grow up" faster and suddenly everything is not about you. Education, and stability will become very hard to achieve. All of the dreams that you previously had, will change.

         America's pregnancy helpline!
(special section for teens):    
    Planned parenthood
Teen Pregnancy hotline!
For additional help with hotlines ranging from A-Z!

A child is never a mistake, but having a baby as a child is. However, this does not mean that you can never be successful if you have fallen into this category. Take responsibility for your actions and make a conscious decision to prevent another pregnancy from occurring. If it happened to you once, it can happen again.

"Our fathers sinned and are no more, and
we bear their punishment
 (Lamentations 5:7)."


As much as you desire to help out because they are your grandchildren, you need to make sure that you are not helping out too much. Many teens become pregnant again because they have not taken full responsibility of the child they currently have. If their parents are the caretaker, they are not fully understanding the reality of parenthood.

 Teen Sex Knowledge

Teen pregnancy facts and rates!
The national campaign to prevent teenage pregnancy!

Teen Sex Knowledge
 Part 2
Everything you need to know about teen sex!

No child is a mistake, however, many individuals bring children into this world under "bad" situations. Unfortunately, as a child we can not choose our family...


YOU can make a conscious decision to not conceive a child under circumstances that can potentially be detrimental to yourself AND your child.  God did say "be fruitful" and multiply but he also reminds us to make wise choices. How do you know the right direction in life? If you have to ask that question then you probably already know the answer...

"For God is not the author of
confusion, but of peace
 (1 Corinthians 14:33)."