Have you ever felt like your family members just do not appreciate you? Do you go above and beyond for certain friends or family and they seem very unappreciative. If you have ever felt this way then you are not alone and you are probably correct in how you feel. The next question would be why do we allow certain people within our lives to treat us this way? Or perhaps the best question is why do the ones who are suppose to love us the most continue to be extremely disrespectful to us in general. The answer to this is actually easier than you think.
People who have high tendencies to disregard the people closest to them often do it because they feel that there are no consequences. In other words, that family member who is being negative towards you, may simply be doing it because they assume that you are family and you will always be there. It is a known fact that many of us are guilty of hurting the ones we love the most, simply because we secretly believe that they will never leave us. This is also one of the main reasons (in addition to personal low self-esteem) why someone who is unfaithful to their spouse may continue that behavior even after their mate finds out. They often take for granted what they have and they are under the “false” impression their significant other will always greet them with open arms.
Is this philosophy correct? Do families stay together out of pure necessity? Can families actually be torn apart because they lack respect towards the people closest to them? The answer to these questions often vary from person to person. Each of us have different tolerance levels. However, one thing remains to be true. Whether you are the victim or the victimizer, everything grows old. We all have our breaking points and just because you are related to someone does not mean they will automatically “always” be there for you. Some people will read this and still believe that this is not true because their minds are suddenly thinking about a ""particular" person that they are currently taking advantage of, and that person may still be standing by him or her. But for how much longer? 5, 10, 20 more years? Most of us are taught that family comes first. And if we ditch our family then we are suddenly the bad people, regardless of how mean or nasty that individual has treated us.
Each of us has a breaking point and eventually, regardless of how thick you may believe the blood in your family is, it is inevitable that treating any person bad will put a heavy strain on the relationship and eventually destroy it.
As we are heading towards a new year and a celebration of new beginnings, find it in your heart to especially treat those who are close to you with respect. Honor them and cherish them, because one day, there is a big chance that they will no longer be your scapegoat. But, if you are being victimized by family members and it is disrupting your physical well –being, bring this up to that particular family member (s). If they do not change their ways, distance may be the best solution for the sake of keeping yourself afloat.
"Do to others as you would have them do to you (Luke 6:31)."
Written By: Te-Shandra Haskett, MBA