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OVERCOMING ENVY???

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At some point in our lives we have been programmed to compare ourselves to others. This type of behavior develops into envy, jealousy and wrath.  Unfortunately, many of us do not realize or recognize how to overcome these feelings of competition that result in envy or wrath.  If you are having this problem, you are not alone, however, there is a solution to living a happy, healthier life, WITHOUT constantly feeling envious.

The first step in overcoming envy is to acknowledge that you ARE envious.  A common reason why people never get help for their issues is that they refuse to acknowledge that they HAVE an issue. 
 
"Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall
(Proverbs 16:18)."
It is only when you recognize your character flaws that you can begin to work on it.  After you understand that you struggle with envy, there are a few things that you should understand.

1. Envy causes Self-Hatred of yourself and others.
"A tranquil heart gives life to the flesh, but envy makes the bones rot (Proverbs 14:30)."

2. You will never be happy or have peace.

3. Constantly wanting what someone else has will leave you with relationship and financial problems.

4. You will NEVER move forward in life trying to be someone else.

5. YOU ARE NOT ALONE. 
 "For you are still of the flesh. For while there is jealousy and strife among you, are you not of the flesh and behaving only in a human way? (1 Corinthians 3:3)."
Millions of people struggle with this issue daily, without realizing that unhappiness is comparing yourself to someone else. If you are currently dealing with someone who is envious of you, chances are, you are not the only one in their book of envies. This is because a person who is envious is extremely insecure with themselves and they falsely believe that everyone else is doing better than them.  Envious people are often prone to try to actively make you feel low, or just like them…

 

THE ABC’S OF NOT BEING ENVIOUS.

 

ACCEPTANCE
It is not enough to recognize you are an envious human being. You have to also be willing to accept the fact that you can never be another human being. You cannot switch lives with anyone or decide that what is best for them is best for you.  In other words, if you do not have the long legs that your friend has, then that is okay. God didn’t build you that way. It does not make you less special to have different attributes than other people. Regardless of what you have, accept it and recognize that YOU AIN'T GOING ANYWHERE.
 
“You shall not covet your neighbor's house; you shall not covet your neighbor's wife, or his male servant, or his female servant, or his ox, or his donkey, or anything that is your neighbor's

BELIEVE IN YOURSELF!
Believing in yourself is imperative in order to move forward in every aspect of life. When you are your biggest fan and promoter, it will bring forth confidence. Confident people love themselves enough to feel great in their skin and not worry about what everybody else may say about them.  Be very aware, when you get to this stage of belief, many people will become envious of you.

 If they cannot believe in themselves, why should anyone else be given the power and strength to do so?
YOU HOLD THE KEY, BELIEVE IN
YOURSELF AND STOP LOOKING AT
ANOTHER PERSON’S PRIZE.
 

 CONCENTRATE ON WHAT YOU LIKE!
Envy and insecurity go together. If you suffer from being overly envious, it is safe to say that you lack self-esteem. A great way to work on this is really take some time to figure out what YOU like and do not like. Keep a journal, try something new, or form a new hobby. FIND OUT ABOUT YOU!  Everyone is born with a deep desire and passion. TODAY is the perfect day to research what you would love to do. The more confident you feel about what you want out of life, the less envious you will be of someone who appears to have it all. Many people who are jealous, are often not comfortable around another person who is sure of themselves. If  they see someone who appears to know what they want, this can breed jealousy.  They (or you) may  begin to wonder, (or compare), how come I do not know my own dreams? Why does he or she know it all.  The answer to this question is quite easy. You will NEVER know your purpose in life if you continue to try to live someone else’s purpose. We all have different gifts.
 
"To one he gave five talents of money, to another two talents, and to another one talent, each according to his ability. Then he went on his journey
(Matthew 25:15)."
 
Each of us is unique in our own ways and there is no one like us. Take the energy that you are using to beat yourself up over the things that you do not have and start counting the current blessings that you do have. The average person has many  talents, but they will never unwrap it, because they are too consumed with wanting someone else’s gift.

Author’s Note: Hopefully these short tips will give you a starting point. If you have spent years being negative, then expect to take years in healing yourself within. Eliminate all of the people who are constantly making you feel like you are not good enough. Hang out with empowered people and those who know their self-worth. Eventually, it will probably rub off on you. Always remember that you are not alone in this area. In fact, the same person you envy is probably looking at your life and wanting what you have. Sometimes this is often a common response for young people because they are truly at a point in their lives where they are trying to find out who they are and what they want. In this case it is a matter of just living a bit longer and understanding that age can sometimes bring forth maturity and lack of envy.

 Regardless, envy is 100% curable with hard work and effort. It is the greatest feeling in this world to know who you are and what YOU want out of life.  
"For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there will be disorder and every vile practice
 (James 3:16)."
 
DEALING WITH
 JEALOUSY & ENVY!
 

 
ADDITIONAL INFORMATION:
  1. HOW TO STOP BEING JEALOUS!
  2. HOW TO OVERCOME JEALOUSY OF YOUR BEST FRIEND!
  3. HOW TO STOP BEING ENVIOUS OF OTHERS!
  4. 5 WAYS TO OVERCOME ENVY EFFECTIVELY!



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Written By: Te-Shandra Haskett, MBA