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WHAT TO DO WHEN YOU FEEL
 "NO ONE" CARES?

This is a common thought because everyone is human and we all make mistakes. No one is fully capable of being available for another person 24/7. However, this is not what I am referring to. I am talking about the people who feel sad and hopeless because the individuals around them, forget to stress how much you mean to them. Unfortunately, the people that we hurt the most are the one's who stand up for us. We take them for granted because they "will always be there."


WHY DO MY FRIENDS ONLY
CALL ME WHEN THEY NEED SOMEONE?

 It is the same story every time. One day you are flooded with friends who call you every moment, the next your phone barely rings. At first you think it is something you have done wrong, but then you began to realize that the very same friends that stopped speaking to you, start talking when they need help.


WHAT DOES THIS MEAN? 

You are the person that people feel they can trust. Somewhere in their mind and hearts, they understand that you are loyal and trustworthy. When the going gets tough, you are part of their solution. People value your energy, time and effort, they just do not understand how to show it.

HOW YOU MAY FEEL....
I will be the first one to tell you that I am the "go" to person. I do not take any special pride in saying this, but it is something that use to bother me. Much of my life is spent trying to comfort  another person during their time of need, but, when I am down and out, people are distant and they fail to see that maybe I may need a friend. There are many moments that I go through personal "struggles" alone. The people that I stood by are generally never available. Months  go by and I never hear from those who once deemed me to be a "life" saver.

Why bad things happen to good people?

THE SOLUTION:

Acceptance: This is the point where you turn around and you recognize that those are the people who are not likely to return the loving ear you shared. Does this make them a bad person? No. It just means that you accept this characteristic about that person(s) and continue to be there for them. Never let a person take advantage of you, but allowing yourself to freely open the door for a friendly ear is not expensive. Everyone in our lives has a purpose, maybe the people who forsake you are there to teach you a lesson. Sometimes learning is challenging, painful, offensive and uncomfortable. Just because a person has returned a favor, does not mean their life did not contribute to your personal growth as a person. Appreciate them.

Admittance: When I am down and I sit by myself and wonder where everyone went, it is pretty easy to become bitter, but you should not. Becoming bitter will only hurt you. When you feel like you are in your darkest hour and there is no one to turn to, it hurts...if you let it.

Hatred stirs up dissension,
but love covers over all wrongs

Admit to yourself that it hurts, but do not sever any relationships, unless the person is abusive in some form. Never take your pain out on the person(s) who hurt you.

'Do not seek revenge or bear a grudge against one of
 your people, but love your neighbor as yourself

Return the favor: When no one calls you on a whim to "say" hi, call them or call someone else. Take the hurt, face reality but return the favor.
  • Make someone's day happy by "calling" them out of the blue to say "hi"
  • Tell a stranger a kind word
  • Text a friend or family to let them know you were thinking about them.

Bottom
line: Give someone else something that you feel like you have not received in return. I find myself giving random phone calls to say "hi" not as a duty, but it is an effort to help at least "one" person not feel abandoned. Changing your current behaviour can be extremely challenging. But, the more you do it, the less it will be a task. Suddenly, you are no longer trying, because you have changed.

 How do you benefit? The more you give, the more you receive. I am not suggesting that you will have an overabundance of "friendly" phone calls but you will benefit in some way. As you become more of a person who tries to prevent others from pain or suffering, you will find that your heart will change. The things that you once appreciated as gifts, are not as valuable. You will discover that saving another individual from the feeling that "no one" cares will bring you happiness. It is no longer a fantastic reward if you buy a giant T.V., but the reward is now having the ability to put a smile on someone's face, if only for a moment.



MY WORLD TODAY....
  • I usually never forget birthdays or important anniversaries of other people.
  • I leave my phone on so if someone needs a "friendly" ear I will be there.
  • If something great happens in their life, I try to make a point to say "Congrats!"
  • I let people know the "beauty" qualities they possess within.
  • I "Thank" people....
  • I encourage, with honesty and truth.
  • I am not ashamed to tell people "I struggle."
  • My life is not perfect, and neither am I.
I feel like a failure...Do you???/
WHY DO I DO THIS?

 Because no one did it for me...
  • I never had a birthday party when I was a "child."
  • Most people do not ask or know when my birthday is, or they forget.
  • The words "congrats" has never been in the words of other people to me.
  • People generally never said "I am sorry."
  • "Beauty" was never something I heard often.
  • Honest and loyalty....has never been a persons strong point towards me.
I will never deny my character flaws, I have hurt many, but through all of the loneliness and hurt "others" have placed on me, I found joy simply by choosing to give others what I often never get in return. They say "misery loves company" and that is true, but if you can find it in your heart to give to others what you feel no one has given to you, the core meaning of "happiness" will take on a whole new meaning. People do reap what they sow in this life. What you put into this life matters, but sometimes the benefits received  are not visible to the human eye. Maybe I may not have many to lean on but in return I have been given the opportunity to "truly" understand what true rewards are in this life.

Do not be deceived: God is not mocked, for whatever one sows, that will he also reap. For the one who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption, but the one who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life. And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up

If you are struggling with these emotions, I encourage you to give more. Many times we do not notice our blessings because our heart is in the wrong place. We "only" count material gains as a blessing.  It is wonderful to have "things," but if  you only recognize blessings as tangible objects, you will fail to see that the highest form of return is when a human heart changes. There will  always be personality clashes, but as your heart changes, you will understand that "hate" and "love" can not exist in one person. If your heart is filled with love, there is can be no room for hate.

If anyone says, "I love God," yet hates his brother, he is a liar. For anyone who does not love his brother, whom he has seen, cannot love God, whom he has not seen

You reap what you sow comes in different forms. If you are not careful, you may overlook the important and meaningful gifts. Change your way of thinking and you may discover that you have already been blessed beyond what the world can offer...

Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you.
I do not give to you as the world gives

The "greatest" rewards in life will always remain unseen....

 “Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal, but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also

Always remember that YOUR BIGGEST ALLY
in this life, has NEVER LEFT YOU..

"For the LORD loves the just
and will not forsake his faithful ones
 (Psalm 37:28 )."



Written By: Te-Shandra Haskett, MBA

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