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Is LOVE blind?

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EARLY SIGNS THAT YOU
MAY BE IN A
CONTROLLING RELATIONSHIP

People always say "love is blind." Unfortunately, that is not the case, WE CHOOSE NOT TO SEE. There are generally warning signs in every situation that the person you are with is probably abusive and controlling. Many times people ignore these signs, simply because they are "in love" or even worse , to prove someone wrong. It is never the victims fault, regardless of the warning signs, but,   generally someone who has low-self-esteem or they have witnessed abuse in their past are primarily the individuals that fall prey to this. The following is a  list of typical warning signs that you may be in an abusive relationship.
 
NOTE: These signs can apply to men AND women!
Help for battered men!
What are the characteristics of an Abusive woman?
World of Spousal Abuse! 






#4.
CALLING YOU TOO MUCH?


It is pretty cute right now. Your man calls you in the morning to say hi, then he calls in  the afternoon to see how you are doing. These are the moments you feel "special" and loved because someone is constantly calling you and asking you how you are doing and what are you up to. This is actually a very sweet gesture, however, it can be a huge warning sign that this person may be abusive and controlling. Calling your significant other on a regular basis is a must! But some individuals take it to the extreme...

  • "Where were you, I called you 10 times in a row and I couldn't get reach you!"
  • "I get scared when I can't reach you..."
  • "You said you would be home by 8:00 p.m., it's 8:05...What were you doing?"
  • "How come you didn't call me when you were supposed to....7.5 minutes ago?"
"Where were you????"



Suddenly these type of calls are not cute, they are downright scary and threatening. Love and trust go together. Anyone who is blowing up your phone this often with a high demand to know where you are at every second of each moment...this is NOT normal. A person who exhibits these behaviours are usually extremely insecure, abusive, controlling and JEALOUS...

Watch out for the high volume call guys, because they also come with a "cheater" sticker. Someone who does not trust you for no specific reason is never to be trusted. People only judge what they do. If he is cheating, the odds are, he will blame you for everything that he is guilty of.

"So when you, a mere man, pass judgment on them and yet do the same things,
do you think you will escape God's judgment (Romans 2:3)."

BOTTOM LINE: Calling is sweet. It is really never a matter of how many times a person may want to call you, but rather when you are "dating" someone, there is an "unhealthy" level of calling. If your current companion is genuinely concerned about your safely and welfare, that is different. However, if someone is consistently calling you and demanding your minute by minute life schedule, this is abnormal.

Are you in an emotionally abusive relationship?
Domestic violence and signs of abuse!
Learn about controling and abusive relationships!


 Domestic Violence Against Men!




#3.
HATES IT WHEN YOU
WEAR MAKE-UP/SEXY CLOTHES?

Everyone has a preference when it relates back to how they would like their man or woman to look, but it is not their choice. During the dating process, you probably met this person wearing make-up and cute clothes. That is what initially attracted "them" to you. Now all of a sudden, it is a problem. If someone met you one way, why should you have to change?



 

 
"You look so much more beautiful without make-up! Don't wear that!"
 
"Your dress is too tight! Change it! I hate it when guys look at you,

You are for my eyes only."

The reason why this is a "huge" indication that you may be in an abusive relationship is because this is a "control" mechanism. It generally starts off small and usually escalates to a level of annoyance. Women typically ignore this sign because once again, they feel special that a man desires to keep them sacred.

 
 
Again, what is cute now, can quickly become annoying, frustrating and abusive. A man who really loves you will never try to change who you are. If someone is trying to change you, they do not want to be with you, or at least the real you. The guy you are with should feel special when the girl of his dreams is being recognized for her inner beauty AND outer beauty. When a person tells you to change what you have on, this is typically indicates that he is insecure with himself and your relationship. They feel threatened if another man takes a single glance at what he owns, you.  A man's insecurity has NOTHING to do with you (unless you have been unfaithful in the past), and EVERYTHING TO DO WITH HIM! Men like this lack confidence and feel that they are not able to keep a woman, unless they control her....

Good men like women who dress like....????
Abusive Relationships and why they stay?



#2.
GUILT TRIP?

"That's fine, I understand, but I thought you loved me?"
 

The classic "guilt trip" is the trick of the abuser. The feeling of "guilt"  can make a person feel inclined to do things out of obligation. In the beginning, many do not acknowledge that it is happening because they feel  guilty for  neglecting the one who loves them so much....




#1.
ISOLATION?

You no longer have any friends, family or acquaintances. This is the danger zone. A person who loves you, would want you to be surrounded by people who love you. Isolation is NOT love. This is insecurity and selfish. A motive to ensure that the victim can not leave them.


Why????

Because you no longer have anyone else...

 
 
The worse thing you can do is isolate yourself in any abusive relationship.

 
 
Once this final act happens, it is very difficult to get out of.



WARNING!
SIGNS OF ISOLATION:

  • STAGE #1: "THE CHARMER"
    • Starts off being fine with the family and friends. Very nice, kind and sweet.
    • Always inviting them over until he believes he has won the hearts of your loved ones.
  • STAGE #2: "GOT A PROBLEM!"
    • Suddenly out of the blue has a problem with one person in your life
  • STAGE #3: "PROBLEMS ARE NOW ISSUES...."
    • The number of issues he has with the people you have chosen to associate with grows.
  • STAGE #4: "HATEFUL OF EVERYONE...."
    • He hates anyone you are with that is not him.
  • STAGE #5: "YOU FEEL GUILTY!"
    • You feel guilty when you are around anyone he does not like.
  • STAGE #6: "MAKE A DECISION!"
    • You are forced to choose, him or your other loved ones.
  • STAGE #7: "GONE TOO FAR...."
"Wouldn't it be nice if we had a change of scenery?"


 "I am sick of California, let's run off and move to Michigan...."


"We can start our own family!"

"You know I love you right?"

He loves you, he loves you not..Does he love you?
http://tehaskett.blogspot.com/2012/07/he-loves-you-he-loves-you.html

IS LOVE REALLY BLIND OR
ARE YOU CHOOSING NOT TO SEE?


AUTHORS NOTE: If you find yourself recognizing any of these signs, get out as soon as possible. Do not wait around for someone to change, it will never happen. Not to mention that would put you in the same category as the guy who is suddenly trying to change you. Never be afraid to reach out for advice or help that is outside of your family. Sometimes families can be biased and make the wrong judgements based on their own personal views. However, if you find yourself hearing the same story from MULTIPLE people, it is probably true.

"Every matter must be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses
(2 Corinthians 13:1)." 

Always trust your initial gut instinct. DO NOT marry an abusive person or choose to have children with them. This will not fix your problems, but it will make the situation more complicated.
Even if you have made the mistake in staying with someone you acknowledged had these qualities....IT IS STILL NOT YOUR FAULT....
IF YOU ARE A PERSON WHO IS AN ABUSER, PLEASE SEEK HELP! IT IS LIKELY THAT YOU ARE A VICTIM FROM PREVIOUS EXPERIENCES AS WELL.....

WATCH THIS STORY OF HOPE....













 

For Men & Women:
Crisis Hotline: 1-888-7HELPLINE 2
Worldwide: Visit International Directory of Domestic Violence Agencies for a global list of helplines and crisis centers.





Written By: Te-Shandra Haskett, MBA




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