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TODAY'S TEENAGE GAL....
"MY PARENTS JUST DON'T GET IT!"


Let's start with the Parental Stage.....
Note:
If you are one of my "teen"  gal  friends skip the parental
crap and start with # 5!
:o)...xxxxxx




PARENTAL versus  TEENage daughter
From birth until teen years.....


PARENTAL CYCLE
15 STAGES
(new parent)


STAGE ONE:



 STAGE TWO:


  
STAGE THREE:
(pregnancy hormones included!)



STAGE FOUR:


STAGE FIVE:



STAGE SIX:



STAGE SEVEN:



STAGE EIGHT:



STAGE NINE: 


STAGE TEN: 



 STAGE ELEVEN:



STAGE TWELVE: 


 STAGE THIRTEEN:





STAGE FOURTEEN:


STAGE FIFTEEN: 

NOW WE ARE READY TO BEGIN......
TODAY'S TEENAGE GAL....




"MY PARENTS JUST DON'T GET IT!"





# 5. PEER PRESSURE

  • Not much has changed about being a teenager, but if you asked the average teenage girl, they would tell you something completely different. We live in a world that is obsessed with beauty, sex, alcohol, drugs and material desires.
    • "If I am not invited to the coolest parties, I am a loser...who wants that?
    • "I need to lose weight! All of the other girls are thin and pretty! Haven't you seen the celebrities! OMG....can we say perfecta?"
    • "Marijuana....I guess I could try some...?"
    • "What do you mean I am too young too date????"
    • "ALL OF MY FRIENDS ARE DOING IT.....WHY CAN'T I????????"
  • The teen years are crucial to the development of a child. During this time frame a concrete self-esteem has not become fully developed. They have not truly discovered who they are and what they would like to be. Many struggle with insecurities and comparison.
  • Everything is superficial as a teenage girl, and can quickly  become the enemy: 
    •  "You don't understand! You are too old!"
    • "You treat me like a child!"


TEENage daughter Cycle


STAGE ONE:



STAGE TWO:





STAGE THREE:




STAGE FOUR:



STAGE FIVE:



STAGE SIX:




STAGE SEVEN:




STAGE EIGHT:





STAGE NINE:



STAGE TEN:




ADVICE TO PARENTS:


  • Always remember that you were a teenager!!! Stay involved in their lives, but give them a small sense of freedom and accountability. Never try to become there best friend, however, be their emotionally. Although it is very important to develop a firm friendship, your job as a parent should always be your first priority to them.
  • Teenagers (and adults) make mistakes. Help them learn from their mistakes before you decide to jump down their throat immediately.
  • Many young adults never come to their parents with questions or problems because they are more afraid of the disappointment, judgement and punishment that will follow.


 Help Your Teen Handle Peer Pressure

How to control teenage hormones
http://www.wikihow.com/Control-Teenage-Hormones


ADVICE TO MY "TEEN" FRIENDS:

Peer Pressure?

  • These awkward years are very short....Thank God! Sometimes your parents are so busy trying to protect you from outsiders, they forget what it feels like to be "a teenager."  These years are frustrating and probably seems like their is no end.
  • The truth is, you will never wish for your teenage years back (unless you are the most popular gal in school...but even then....???) and you will never get them back. Try to enjoy these years because something called "responsibility" will come much too quickly.
  • Be yourself!
  • Say "no" to drug and alcohol. It is best not to engage in any sexual activity at this vulnerable age, however, I am not silly enough to believe that sex does not happen with young adults. Please use a condom if you are planning to have sex to protect yourself from sexually transmitted diseases or an unwanted pregnancy.
  •  Magazine photos of celebrities are highly photoshoped! This means, altered. You are striving to look like someone who does not look like that themselves. No one is perfect!
 Photoshop! Before and after photos!
You are still a child....just going through an adult transition. 
"This too shall pass
( I Corinthians 10:12),"
Tips on how to deal with peer pressure:

 
 

Feeling peer pressure?


National Peer Pressure Hotline:
1 -800-448-4663   



  
# 4.  TRYING TO FIT IN


  • As a teenager, there is a huge pressure to be "similar" to everyone else. No one wants to stick out like a sore thumb.
  • We may teach people that being "different" is good, but teenagers do not feel this way. Anyone who is slightly different can become ostracized and laughed at.
    • "Love the jeans! Can I get some mom? Jessica has the EXACT same pair! Only $100.00 can I pullleeze get them???"





ADVICE TO PARENTS:


  • Allow your teenage daughter to "explore" within limits. Let them have some authority in choosing some of their actions. Sometimes it is better for them to face consequences now, then later. Accountability is much greater at age 25. 
  • Everything may not be a "big" deal. Step in before the "huge" mistakes.
  • The average teenager does not pay bills. They have "little" to "no" concept of "money." Neither do most adults! I wonder where some of these teens learned their about money from originally?

How to talk to your teen about money



ADVICE TO MY "TEEN" FRIENDS:

  •  Your classmates who are super cool now, will not be "super" cool later." In fact, this may be shocking, but, the friends that you have now....will probably not be in your life 5 years from now.

Why?

  • Because as a teenager you are still in "discovery" mode. You are still trying to figure out who you are as a person and what you want out of life. Teenagers change and grow, often in different directions.
    • "Who am I?"
    • "What do I believe?"
    • What is my sexual orientation?"
    • Does he like me?"
  • Few people remain in close relationships with a childhood friend. This is okay and completely normal. Try not to get too upset if you feel like your friends have totally ditched you. They probably did not. Both of you are changing and moving in different directions. This will happen throughout your life. Not every friend that you meet will be your lifelong friend.

 How to be different and stand out from others

How to be unique



# 3. HALF-WOMAN, HALF-GAL
  • Teenagers want to be a child and enjoy all the partying and carefree lifestyle that comes with being a kid, however, they battle with trying to make their own decisions and becoming their own person.
  • Teenagers always believe they know more than adults!


ADVICE TO PARENTS:
  • Let them begin making "some" of their own decisions.
  • Becoming an overbearing parent will only lead your teenage girl to do the opposite of everything you say!
  • REBELLION FOLKS!!!!
Why?
  • Because they know more than you AND they are going to prove it!
  • Teenagers will make bad judgements to "get back at their parents." They are willing to hurt themselves purely seeking revenge on their parents.
  • Consequences do not exist to the teenage mind. There is only now.
  • Teens are notorious for taking risks because it will never happen to them.


ADVICE TO MY "TEEN" FRIENDS:

Never be in a rush to grow older....


Enjoy your youth!
  • Parents can be annoying sometimes and seem to enjoy  interfering in your life. They keep telling you what to do, where to go, who to be friends with....the list goes on.
  • Your parents are trying to keep you from making mistakes. Generally, they are afraid that you will make the same mistakes they did as a young adult.
  • Listen to your parents, they may actually know something you do not. No one knows everything and sometimes life experiences allows them to see the error of your ways.
  • Keep in mind, adults do not know everything....
  • If you do not feel comfortable talking to your parents, find another trusted adult. These years can be tough!!!!!
  • Your parents ARE JUST TOO OLD TO GET IT!"



# 2. " I AM FALLING IN LOVE!
 I KNOW WHAT IT MEANS!"
  • Anything is possible. People can fall in love at any age. There is no age limit to when it comes to the heart.
  • Is it love or lust? That would be my question. And if you do not understand the difference, then it is probably NOT love.
  • Teenage girls have an extra void they need filled. A father's love is crucial during this time particular time frame. Without "fatherly love" it  is easy for a young lady to  become influenced by a young male who tells them what they want to hear.
    • "I love you!"
    • "You will be my first and only!"
    • "I will never leave you."
    • "This is forever...."



ADVICE TO PARENTS:


"Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it

(Proverbs 22:6)."
  • Show them extra love without being  overbearing. Give them space to learn and grow. You do not want to create a child who feels 100% restricted. This adult related behaviour towards their teen, increases their desire to become "wild" when they are not in the presence parental authority.
  • Fathers are crucial throughout a girls life. This is where they first learn about men and how they should be treated.  
  • Many teenage girls become pregnant or sexually active because they are looking for love in all of the wrong places. Trying to fill in a love that should come directly from a father.
  •  It is perfectly fine for a girl to have a role model who is not her father. Be very careful when deciding to bring a male role model in your life.

Why girls need their dads
10 ways to be a great dad!
How to talk to your kids about sex!



ADVICE TO MY "TEEN" FRIENDS:



  • If a boy loves you, he can wait to have sex.  "Immature" boys will say anything they believe you want to hear, just to get "the goods." Boys leave after sex, Men stay and they make "love."  A teenage boy is suppose to be immature by nature. Do not expect them to be a man. They have raging hormones!
  • Many girls will continue to have multiple sex partners because they feel "loved" in the moment. This is a false sense of love and if you are experiencing these feelings, please get help. You are worth more than a little boy using you for sex.
  • Teenage boys also feel pressure from other boys to not be a virgin.
  • NEVER ALLOW OLDER MEN TO ENGAGE IN SEXUAL ACTIVITIES WITH YOU! This crosses the line completely. This is rape and it is against the law for any adult to have a physical relationship with a minor.
  • If you choose to become sexually active, always use protection, birth control and talk to someone...even if it is not your parents.
  • Sex is more than physical....it is emotional.....




Contact Planned parenthood for any additonal advice/questions


Get the facts about sexually transmitted diseases

 What is rape? Types of rape


National Sexual Assault Hotline

1.800.656.HOPE     

 

 

# 1. "SHE IS SOOOO....."



  • Pretty, ugly, stupid, dumb, hoochie mama, boyfriend stealer, liar, hater, think she's all that......"
  • "Insecurity" is a teenage girls middle name. This is  normal, however, many young girls can become the product of bullying as a result. Kids can be cruel. Only people who lack self-esteem bully. It is never the victims fault. Bullies do not understand the impact they have on another individuals life.
  • It is not uncommon for other classmates to  participate in the act of bullying....
Why???


THEY ARE A TEENAGER AND THEY WANT TO FIT IN!

    ADVICE TO ALL....
     
ADVICE TO PARENTS:



  • If you think you know when your child is being bullied...think again! Being humiliated is something that many teens hide from their parents. They are ashamed to confide in anyone....especially, their parents
  • Teens desire parents who are proud of them at all times.
  • If people/classmates are treating them inappropriately, they blame themselves.
  • Parents should encourage their  teens to talk about anything. Do not appear to be too nosey. Privacy is huge at this age. Remember, their has to be a balance.
  • ALWAYS MAKE CONNECTIONS WITH OTHER PARENTAL ROLE MODELS. Your  teen may not want to talk to you about their problems, not because they do not love you, they simply do not want to disappoint you. 
  • Children strive to make their parents proud.


Dealing with bullies for parents and children
How to deal with special people
ADVICE TO MY "TEEN" FRIENDS:
  •  If you have parents that you can talk to...DO IT! If you do not, there is always a trusted adult somewhere. Go speak to a person in authority in your school. Whatever you do.....TALK TO SOMEONE!
  • RIGHT NOW THESE YEARS SEEM SUPER LONG....BUT THEY ARE NOT!


YOU WILL GET THROUGH IT!