Click here to STUMBLE!

stumble

Translate

Follow Me on Pinterest
THE X-FILES!!

WHY YOU KEEP GOING BACK?
Same story, different day.
 One day you are together with him
 and the next moment,
you have broken up...
Just never for good.....

 
 
"We must be soulmates!"
"I love him!"
"This has to work out!"
"I don't understand why I can't get over this guy!"

 
 

 
 

 
 
#5.
 TOO COMFORTABLE!!!

 
 
com·fort·a·ble
 
1. Providing physical comfort:
2. Free from stress or anxiety; at ease
3. Producing feelings of ease or security:
4. Sufficient to provide financial security:
 
 

  • He knows what makes you smile, he knows your favorite color and pretty much everything about you. There is always something wonderful about coming home to someone who is familiar with your bad and good habits.
  • Humans by nature are creatures of habit. If someone moves your toothbrush, then you will probably freak out.
"I know I didn't put it there!"

"I ALWAYS leave my toothbrush on the left side of the bathroom!"

  • Relationships are generally much more intimate and meaningful than where you stick your toothbrush everyday.
  • Many times people never leave a person that is not good for them because they just feel "comfortable."
  • Perhaps you may feel embarassed of a failed relationship, or you don't want to add to your list of sexual partners...
  • If a man or woman cheats on his or her partner, sometimes a person will stay because at least it is "familiar." I know what is going to happen.
  • We fear the unknown....which in this case.....breaking up!

 
 
HEALTHY ADVICE:


  • This feeling of "comfort" is very typical for anyone that has been in a relationship. It is very common for people to confuse "comfort" for love. Or, in many cases, they understand "fully" that the relationship is based purely on comfort.
  • Being "comfortable" is a great feeling within a relationship, however, if you are a person who is suffering from abuse or neglect, then it is time to make the change and get out of your comfort zone.
  • "Abuse" in any form is NOT healthy!
    • This is especially true if you have children, because children do what they see.
    • If you have a daughter, staying with an abuser will only increase her chances of developing a relationship with an abuser...why? Because like you....THEY ARE COMFORTABLE....
 It is the Lord who goes before you. He will be with you;
he will not leave you or forsake you.
Do not fear or be dismayed
How to assess your relationship stage!
http://www.wikihow.com/Assess-Your-Relationship-Stage
How to step out of your comfort zone!
http://www.wikihow.com/Step-Out-of-Your-Comfort-Zone
Signs you are getting too comfortable!
http://glo.msn.com/relationships/signs-youre-getting-too-comfortable-7387.gallery



#4.
INSECURITY!! 


"I really can't get anyone better!"

"He is all I have!"

"He is my world!"

"I can't get a job or live on my own,
 I need him!!"

 
 

in·se·cure

1. Not sure or certain; doubtful:
2. Inadequately guarded or protected; unsafe:
3. Not firm or fixed; unsteady:
a. Lacking stability; troubled: "an insecure relationship..."

  • If you have ever caught yourself thinking these thoughts, you could be suffering from a severe case of "insecurity" or low self-esteem.
  • You are not alone! Many men and women, lack self-worth. This can be high destructive.
  • People who are insecure have high a high tendency to get into unhealthy relationship.
  • Someone who does not know their worth, will continue to go back to the same person...EVEN IF THEY ARE TREATED LIKE TRASH!

There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear.
For fear has to do with punishment,
and whoever fears has not been perfected in love

Abusive relationships and why they stay!
Free relationship break-up advice! eharmony!
How to get over him! Cosmopolitian!

Sometimes these feelings of worthlessness come from the following:
      Depression,
      Drugs & Alcohol,
      Former child abuse,
      Past abusive relationships....or
      Currently in an abusive relationship!




  • Be very careful! There are some individuals who prey on people that are prone to lack self-worth. They develop relationships with these people and brainwash them into believing that they are not good enough to be in a "healthy" relationship.

HEALTHY ADVICE:

  • Married, single, gay, straight, black, white, Asian, purple....GREEN! EVERYBODY DESERVES RESPECT!
  • If you are in a destructive relationship....GET OUT! MOVE FORWARD NOT BACKWARDS!
  • Never contemplate marrying someone who makes you feel low. It will destroy you internally!
WHAT ABUSIVE PEOPLE  MAY SAY TO MAKE YOU
FEEL LOW:

"Are you kidding me?
I am as good as you can get!"

"Why are you so stupid!"

"You don't remember?? Seriously......that really DID happen."

"Your family kind of sucks! I don't think you should speak to them as much...."

"You know I love you right.....????"




 WRONG!!!!!

SOMEONE WHO LOVES YOU,

WILL SHOW IT!

"Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue
 but with actions and in truth
(1 John 3:18)."

He loves you, he loves you NOT! he loves you...????
How to deal with special people!
20 reasons to never go back to your ex!






#3.
LONELY?
  • It can feel pretty crappy when the weekend comes and you are sitting at home...ALONE!
  • Your other friends are either married, dating or basically have a life better than yours.
  • They are not lonely...you are!
  • You feel empty and you have no one to talk to....YOU FEEL LONELY....SO YOU GO BACK TO THE X-FILES...
    • Now you have the occasional feeling of a partnership.
    • You are not an outsider...
***IF YOU STAY WITH SOMEONE
BECAUSE YOU ARE AFRAID TO BE
ALONE,
YOU ARE AN OUTSIDER IN
YOUR
RELATIONSHIP***


 
 
HEALTHY ADVICE:
  • Never stay in a relationship with someone strictly because you feel "lonely'
  • There is nothing worse than obligatory love..
    • It hurts BOTH people!
  • Remember, we see what we want. If you are 30 and single, than suddenly everyone you see is married. If you have children....no one has children...
    • ALL OF THESE ARE FALLACIES THAT OUR BRAIN HAS CREATED.
    • We are all in different stages of our lives, regardless of our age, race, or status,
    • STOP COMPARING! STOP COMPETING!
DO NOT GO BACK TO THE X...
BECAUSE YOU FEAR LONELINESS.
 LEARN BE COMFORTABLE IN YOUR OWN SKIN,
BEFORE YOU ADD ANOTHER.....
 

“I will never leave you nor forsake you
 (Hebrews 13:5).”






Learn more about Anuptaphobia!
How to deal with loneliness!
How to overcome loneliness!


 
  
 
#2.
YOU HAVE CHILDREN WITH HIM....

"I never had my parents together,
 I want this to work for the kids!"
"Kids need a mommy AND a daddy!"
"I don't want a broken home..."
"I am going back to my X, for the kids."


 
 
 
HEALTHY ADVICE:

  • These are the typical thoughts that go through the mind of someone who feels they have an obligation to stay with another person "for the kids."
  • It is imperative to understand that sometimes an individual may use the "kids" as an excuse for what they already want to do...GO BACK TO THE X....
  • If it is about the kids, most people would choose to leave, unless they are in an abusive relationship where they have been severely damaged. Abused victims are known to stay with their abusers for a number of reasons.
Abusers and why they stay!
  • Relationships that are constantly filled with drama, and abuse is an unhealthy environment for any child.
  • "Divorce" should never be an option, UNLESS, there is a severe case of abuse, including habitual "infidelity."
    • If you divorce over a "toothbrush" then you will leave your current spouse for another person who leaves out their underwear instead. Then you will probably find yourself appreciating the toothbrush that you just threw away.
  • Marriage takes hard work. No one has the perfect relationship. Jumping from one person to the next, will NEVER go as planned. At some point, EVERY "marriage" changes...it is inevitable. We grow comfortable with a person and the surprises are probably not there anymore.
  • Marriage is a circle...love, drama, respect, hate, love.....STICK WITH IT FOR BETTER OR FOR WORSE!!!
  • What is best for the kids is two parents who put each other first and set examples of what a healthy relationship should be.
NOTE:
MARRIAGE DOES NOT FIX PROBLEMS!
IF YOU ARE CURRENTLY IN A RELATIONSHIP
WITH SOMEONE, WITH CHILDREN....
DO NOT MARRY THEM
AND BELIEVE THAT THIS
WILL FIX EVERYTHING!!!!!!
NO IT WILL NOT!
FIX THE RELATIONSHIP OR MAKE HIM OR HER YOUR

 X...
FOR GOOD!!!

 
 
5 simple things you can say to improve your marriage!

 
 
 
 
#1.
YOU HAVE UNREALISTIC EXPECTATIONS!



"I promise things will be different now...."

 
 
MOMENT OF TRUTH:

  • You can never change a person. They have to acknowledge that they are making mistakes BEFORE this occurs.
  • These words are a tactic used to bridge over a bad situation. When the honeymoon stage is over, things will return to normal....

Ladies guide to interpreting the dumb things he says!
RELATIONSHIPS WILL
 ONLY CHANGE
WITH WORK FROM
 BOTH PARTNERS....
IF HE OR SHE IS YOUR
X FOR A REASON...
FIGURE OUT WHAT WENT WRONG OR.. 


IT WILL CONTINUE TO HAPPEN.....

 
 
"Cast your burden on the Lord, and he will sustain you; he will never permit the righteous to be moved

Written by: Te-Shandra Haskett


RELATED TOPICS:



 
 

 
 

 
 

 
References:
http://www.thefreedictionary.com/comfortable
http://www.thefreedictionary.com/insecurity