TEST YOUR GHETTO METER TODAY!
TAKE THIS SHORT QUIZ TO DETERMINE IF YOU ARE TOO RED, BLUE OR TOO PURPLE....
# 1. "HOW OFTEN DO YOU PAY YOUR BILLS?"
- "OH CRAP! I KNEW I WAS FORGETTING SOMETHING FOR THE PAST 3 MONTHS!"
- "ALL THE TIME, WHY WOULD ANYONE NOT PAY THEIR BILLS?"
# 2. "DO YOU ARGUE MORE OVER HAVING A JOB, OR HAVING A THE BIGGER 401k?"
- "WHAT KIND OF STUPID QUESTION IS THAT! I DON'T NEED TO WORK! I AM ON DISABILITY!"
- "OF COURSE I HAVE A JOB!"
- "MY 401 K IS GROWING RAPIDLY!"
# 3. " LADIES, DO YOU CARRY HOT SAUCE IN YOUR PURSE?"
- "NEVER LEAVE HOME WITHOUT IT!"
- "I USE IT WHEN I AM AT HOME, WHY WOULD I BRING IT WITH ME?"
- "HOT SAUCE MAKES MY THROAT CLOSE UP."
# 4. "HOW OFTEN ARE YOU LATE?"
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FLAVOR FLAV?? WHO IS THAT? |
- "IF I AM TOLD TO BE THERE AT 10:30 AM, I AM GENERALLY THERE AT 12:00 NOON. I WOULD SAY I AM ALWAYS ON TIME...ACCORDING TO C.P.T TIME."
- "LATE ??? NEVER! NOT UNLESS I HAVE A CRISIS AT HOME.
# 5. " DO YOU TIP WHEN YOU GO OUT TO EAT?"
- " I GIVE EM A TIP ALRIGHT!!!!!"
- "MORE OR LESS, DEPENDING ON HOW GOOD THE SERVICE IS."
- "WHY WOULD YOU NOT TIP YOUR SERVER?"
# 6. "WHEN YOU PURCHASE GROCERIES, DO YOU USE AN EBT CARD, CREDIT/DEBIT CARD OR CASH?"
- "EBT...WHAT ELSE WOULD I USE?"
- "CREDIT CARD, SOMETIMES CASH."
# 7. "IS ORANGE AN ETHNICITY?"
- "NO, ORANGE IS A COUNTY IN FLORIDA."
- " I AM NOT ORANGE, I JUST HAVE AN INDIAN GLOW. MY FAMILY IS PART CHEROKEE."
# 8. "HOW MUCH WATERMELON DO YOU EAT?"
# 9."WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT THE GAP?"
- "ARE YOU REFERRING TO SOMETHING BETWEEN YOUR TEETH?"
- "SOUNDS SOMEWHAT FAMILIAR."
- "I SHOP THERE EVERYDAY! AWESOME. I LOVE PLAID !!!"
# 10. "HOW OFTEN DO YOU GO CAMPING?"
- "CAMP????? WHY WOULD ANYONE PAY TO BE OUTSIDE? I GOT A HARD ENOUGH TIME PAYING TO BE INSIDE!"
- "ANY CHANCE I CAN GET!! GOING THIS WEEKEND! "
# 11. "DO YOU PURCHASE YOUR WEAVE FROM KOREANS OR JESSICA SIMPSON?"
- "YEAH, I AWAYS PURCHASE MY WEAVE FROM CHINESE FOLKS !"
- "JESSICA SIMPSON, HANDS DOWN!"
- "HAIR WEAVE....WHAT IS THAT??"
# 12. "HOW BIG ARE THE RIMS ON YOUR TIRES?"
DEFINITION OF HOOPTIE
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Any car that meets the following: a) driver must enter car through passenger side b) three different brand and size tires - 3 of them missing hubcap c) exhaust is held up by half a clothes hanger - other half replaces the antenna d) backfires every three blocks - loudest backfire being when car is turned off e) must open door at drive-threws as windows don't roll down...PLEASE VIEW WEBSITE FOR MORE DETAILS......
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=hooptie
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- "BIGGER THAN MY 1976 HOOPTIE !"
- "WHY WOULD ANYONE SPEND MONEY ON RIMS WHEN THEY CAN PURCHASE A MONSTER TRUCK ?"
# 13. " IS YOUR FAMILY MOSTLY FROM BALTIMORE, DC, ATLANTA, CHICAGO, OR NORTH DAKOTA?"
- " IS NORTH DAKOTA SOUTH OF BALTIMORE?"
- "A LITTLE BIT OF CHICAGO."
- " ISN'T ATLANTA THE GHETTO?"
# 14. "DO YOU WATCH RERUNS OF SEINFELD?"
- "IS THAT THE SHOW WHERE THAT GUY USED THE "N" WORD ON STAGE?"
- "SEINFELD IS MY FAVORITE RERUN!!!"
# 15. "HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT THE NAME RAINIQUIA?"
- "THAT'S MY NAME !!! HOLLA !!"
- "ARE YOU SAYING IT IS GOING TO RAIN TODAY?"
# 16. "HOW DO YOU REFER TO THE FATHER OF YOUR CHILD (VICE VERSE FOR GUYS)."
# 17. "ARE YOU MORE FAMILIAR WITH AL SHARTON OR TOM CRUISE?"
- "AL SHARPTON IS AN AMAZING ICON!"
- "I JUST CAME FROM A MOVIE WITH TOM CRUISE IN IT."
# 18. "DO ALL PURPLE PEOPLE LOOK ALIKE?"
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- "YES, PURPLE PEOPLE ALL LOOK THE SAME. IT IS HARD FOR ME TO EVEN WATCH REGULAR MOVIES."
- "RED PEOPLE ALWAYS LOOK ALIKE."
# 19. "DO YOU HAVE GOLD TEETH OR WHITE TEETH?"
- "ALL OF MY TEETH ARE GOLD, WOULDN'T HAVE IT ANY OTHER WAY!"
- "WHO IN THE WORLD WOULD DO GOLD IN THEIR MOUTH?"
- "UMMM, HELLO....WHITE.....AS IF !!!!"
# 20. "DO YOU FIND THESE QUESTIONS RIDICULOUS, OFFENSIVE OR BOTH?"
- "YES ! WHO WOULD WRITE SUCH A THING????"
- "NO, I WANT TO KNOW HOW BLACK I AM!"
- "YES!!! WHO WOULD WRITE SUCH A THING?"
IF YOU HAVE ANSWER MOSTLY RED...
EXPLANATION: YOU ARE TOO RED FOR YOUR OWN GOOD. THIS IS A BIT EXTREME.
CHEVY....YOUR UPGRADE
HELPFUL TIPS FOR BEING TOO RED:
- START WATCHING SEINFELD, FRIENDS OR FRASIER AS YOUR DAILY TELEVISION SHOWS.
- PLAN A VACATION TO WYOMING, IDAHO, OR MONTANA.
- FIND YOUR HIDDEN BILLS AND PAY THEM !
- LAY OUT IN THE SUN FOR A FEW HOURS. YOU MAY NOT TURN ORANGE, BUT I GUARANTEE YOU WILL TURN BLUE.
- USE WORDS LIKE "GROOVY" AND "AWESOME."
- LOG ONTO CAREER BUILDER AND START YOUR JOB SEARCH.
- WEAR LOTS OF PLAID
- LEARN THE DIRECT CORRELATION BETWEEN TIPPING AND MONEY
- PLAY POLO
- UPGRADE YOUR CAR TO A CHEVY (SEE IMAGE ABOVE).
- START BEING RESPONSIBLE.
IF YOU ANSWER MOSTLY PURPLE....
EXPLANATION: YOU ARE TOO PURPLE FOR TOO FUNCTION. TIME TO LOOSEN UP A BIT.
HELPFUL TIPS FOR BEING TOO PURPLE:
- MAKE IMMEDIATE PLANS TO VISIT DETROIT OR COMPTON.
- DRIVE TO YOUR NEAREST MARTIN LUTHER KING STREET.
- WATCH TYLER PERRY MOVIES.
- TAKE A LOAD OFF...FORGET TO PAY YOUR BILLS.
- LOOK UP THE TERM "EBONICS"
- LIVE FREE....STOP BEING ON TIME SO MUCH! START WITH BEING 5 MINUTES LATE AND GO FROM THERE.
- EAT ALL THE SPICY FOODS YOU CAN TOLERATE.
- RECOGNIZE THAT YOUR HUSBAND IS ACTUALLY YOUR BABY'S DADDY.
- STOP BEING SO RESPONSIBLE.
IF YOU ANSWER MOSTLY BLUE...
EXPLANATION: YOU ARE CLUELESS.
HELPFUL TIPS FOR BLUES:
- REMAIN IGNORANT UNTIL YOU CAN SPEAK WITH SOMEONE EDUCATED.
HOWEVER.....
IF YOUR ANSWER WAS RED OR PURPLE FOR NUMBER 20, THEN MAYBE YOU HAVE FINALLY REALIZED HOW RIDICULOUS STEREOTYPES ARE.
PASS IT ON !!!
*****KNOWLEDGE IS POWER, IGNORANCE BREEDS RACISM AND HATE*****
WRITTEN BY: TE-SHANDRA HASKETT, MBA
RELATED TOPICS:
ACTING BLACK? THERE IS A CURE!