Skip to main content

Featured

Why you dislike your postpartum body and how to embrace it.

If you have had a baby and you do not like your postpartum body then you are not alone. Most women struggle to accept their postpartum body.  But have you ever wondered "why."" "Why do we dislike our postpartum body?" Why is it so hard to accept the difference?" "Why do so many women opt to change it through surgery or other ways that are advertised ?" Below are some of the top reasons why you hate your postpartum body. 5.  Your clothes don't fit the same After you have a baby, oftentimes your clothes  will not fit. Whether you are 6 weeks postpartum or 10 years, your clothing may never fit exactly the same, regardless of how much weight you lose. As a result some women may start to feel like a stranger in their own body. They may not know what clothes will flatter them anymore or how to find new clothes that look great on them. This can lead women to dislike their body. 4. You feel judged by others It is no secret that we live in an era wher
Read more
I FEEL LIKE A FAILURE.....

Welcome to the failure tree......

DO YOU FEEL...

"I didn't get the promotion!"
I am NOT a failure!

"We broke up!"
I am NOT a failure!

"Crap! I should have gotten an A on that exam!"
I am NOT a failure!

"How come everyone else can go on a vacation and I can't?"
I am NOT a failure!

"My child is doing so poorly. It is my fault. I should've have done something different!"
I am NOT a failure!

"Well, I feel like everyone hates me! Why is everyone so critical!"
I am NOT a failure!

"My parents never encourage me."
I am NOT a failure!

"I give up......."


 WHY YOU FEEL LIKE A FAILURE?


5. LACK OF MOTIVATION

  • The average person lacks motivation.
  • Many people feel as though everything should be handed to them on a silver platter.
    • "Not that big of a deal!"
    • "I am kind of tired today!"
  • The feeling of failure is associated with guilt. When an individual fails to "give it their all" they feel guilty.
    • "I could have done that! I just kind of got a little lazy!"
What is motivation?
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/motivation
What are the reasons for lack of motivation and enthusiasm?


YOUR REALITY.......


  • The feeling of failure can be significantly decreased with doing the best you can, with what you have. This does not suggest that if you will not feel bad if you do not achieve what you have worked for. YOU WILL FEEL BAD! However, if you have done your best, you are NOT A FAILURE!
  • Sometimes what you want in life is not the "actual" plan a higher power has for you. If doors continue to shut, another door will open.

"For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my
ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts


  • Do not expect things to be handed to you in life!
    • If something is handed to you, it is never a good idea. People take for granted   things that are freely given to them.
    • When you work hard, you become more responsible, humble and appreciative towards other people. These are all characteristics that a FAILURE does not have.
"Whoever is slack in his work is a brother to him who destroys

4. COMPETITION


"Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count
others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not
only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others
(Philippians 2:3-4)."

  • You were fine with your Honda Civic, ...until you looked at your neighbors new Mercedes. They have it all! A nicer car, home and a better looking spouse!
  • "I want what THEY have!"
  • "What I have is not good enough! NOT FAIR!"

REALITY.....

  • Competition and comparison is a "dangerous" game you will NEVER win. There will always be something that may "appear" nicer than what you have.
    • Notice I used the word "appear." The grass always looks greener....
  • Learn to appreciate what you have.  Sometimes, not achieving what we want is a blessing in disguise.



" Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned
in whatever situation I am to be content
( Philippians 4:11-12)."


With everything that we are given in life, there is a cost.
A price YOU MAY NOT WANT TO PAY!

"From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded;
and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked
 (Luke 12:48)."

  • Comparison only breeds hatred, low self-esteem, anger, greed and unhappiness.
    • UNHAPPINESS IS COMPARING YOUR LIFE TO SOMEONE ELSE!
  • If you can not handle the small things in life, you will never achieve anything "bigger."
 "Well done, good servant! Because you have been faithful in
a very little, you shall have authority over ten cities
 (Luke 19:17)."




NEWS FLASH!

    • Sometimes the people you envy, want what you have. They may want what you have so much that they purposely showcase their lives to you. It makes them feel better....only for a moment.
      • If you are one of these people....STOP! DANGER ZONE!

What is competition?
https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/competition
Why not stop competing with others?



3. LISTENING TO CONSTANT NEGATIVITY FROM OTHERS!


“Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgment you
pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you
(Matthew 7:1-5)."
  • "Jimmy you are stupid!"
  • "Jimmy why can't you ever be on time!"
  • "Jimmy you are crazy!"
  • "Jimmy, you will NEVER make anything of yourself in this life!"
  • "Jimmy, I don't like you!"
  • "Jimmy, I don't love you!"

REALITY.....
  • If you are the victim of words similar to the Jimmy comments above...I am sorry....
  • THIS IS A FORM OF ABUSE!
  • NO ONE has the right to victimize another individual with their words.
  • The abusive words come from lack of self-worth. It is NEVER the victims fault if someone is constantly degrading them.
  • Negative people are fearful of your success. You have the potential to do what they feel they could not.
  • Remove yourself immediately from the negative individual. This is a TOXIC relationship and it will kill you in some form.
    • Depression
    • Lack of motivation
    • Self-hatred
    • Always expecting the worse
    • Suicide...or worse....
      • THE ABUSED CAN BECOME THE ABUSER....
WHAT TO DO IF YOU ARE A CHILD IN A VERBALLY ABUSIVE HOUSEHOLD:
  • Seek immediate help from a local trusted authority.
    • The Childhelp National Child Abuse Hotline: 1-800-4-A-CHILD 
  • Join a support group. "Support Works"
  • Understand that IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT! People who attack others with their words are victims as well. This pattern of behaviour was probably created from someone who told them the same words they are telling you.
  • Know that you are special and your life has a purpose.
  • If the parent does not stop the abuse, eventually you will have to cut off or limit contact with them.
  • Abuse is a disease that spreads.....
  • STOPPING THE CYCLE OF ABUSE BEGINS WITH YOU!

IF YOU ARE THE ABUSER IN ANY FORM:
(i.e. school or work bully, parent, teacher...etc.)
  • I am sorry. You were probably abused as well.
  • Whoever made you not feel special....LIED! Your life is valuable and you can change.
  • Stop the cycle...GET HELP! 
What is child abuse!
https://www.childwelfare.gov/pubs/factsheets/whatiscan/



"Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good
 for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear


How to deal with special people!
Abusive relationships and why they stay!
Find an emotionally focused therapist!
   1-888-563-2112     



2. BEING A PERFECTIONIST

  • There is no quicker way to make yourself feel like a failure than to set unrealistic goals and expectations for yourself.

REALITY....

  • No one is perfect!
  • Nothing is perfect!
  • Being imperfect is what makes you perfect....unique and different!
  • Set realistic goals
    • Instead of trying to run a full marathon, start with running a lap around the track, THEN slowly increase.
  • Achievements take time! Slow down! Life is not a race against anyone..
  • Stop penalizing yourself, start praising yourself.
  • A perfectionist is the only person who sees the majority of their mistakes.
    • CLICK THE SUBMIT BOTTOM! IF YOU ARE A PERFECTIONIST, IT WILL NEVER BE GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU!
  • SOMETIMES GOOD ENOUGH IS GOOD ENOUGH..... 


1. YOU DO NOT UNDERSTAND
 THE TRUE MEANING OF FAILURE...
 Does this sound familiar????
    "I give up......."



WHAT IS FAILURE?
  • Speaking negativity towards yourself and others.
  • Refusing to shed a tear because you want to appear "tough."
  • NEVER TRYING, BECAUSE YOU ARE AFRAID YOU WILL NEVER SUCCEED!
    • Fearing the laughter of others because you failed at something.
PEOPLE WHO FAIL BEFORE THEY SUCCEED...
  • Have greater testimonies
  • Stronger people.
  • Learn from their mistakes.
  • Share their experiences....
  • THEY LIVE TO INSPIRE YOU.........



 THE MOST SUCCESSFUL PEOPLE GIVE UP....


To be continued......
Written by: Te-Shandra Haskett, MBA


Related Topics:


Jobless? Here is why you may be unemployed!
Why I am more successful than you!!!
Email Post