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ATTENTION LADIES...
ATTENTION LADIES...
ATTENTION LADIES...
ATTENTION LADIES...
ATTENTION LADIES...  

ARE YOU HAVING A HARD TIME GETTING A DATE!?



"All of my friends are married and I am still single!"


"Are guys attracted to me?"


"I am so sick of ALWAYS being a bridesmaid....
BUT NEVER A BRIDE...!!!!"

"Why am I still single????????"



#10. 
 LOOKING TOO HARD!
  • Have you ever tried to look for something that you desperately wanted and just could not find it? Then, the moment you forgot about it and focused on something else...you found it!
  • If you consistently look for something, YOU WILL NOT FIND IT!
  • Appearing "desperate" shouts..."I HAVE LOW-SELF ESTEEM!"
    • People who have low self-esteem, lack confidence.
    CONFIDENCE IS SEXY....
    CONFIDENCE IS SEXY....
    CONFIDENCE IS SEXY....
NO ONE WILL DESIRE TO BE WITH YOU,
IF YOU LACK CONFIDENCE!


RISKS ASSOCIATED WITH BEING DESPERATE:
  • Can significantly increase your chance of getting involved in an abusive relationship.
  • May create a false sense of "love."
  • You may become sexually involved too quickly with several different people.
    • When you have sex with one person, you are sleeping with everyone "they" have.
    • Intimacy too quick confuses the relationship AND people often sense this weakness and may take advantage of you for sexual purposes.
  • Many married men who are looking for outside pleasure "seek" relationships with desperate women.
    • Sometimes these women DO NOT know that the new man they are with are married. However, by the time they learn...it is easy to become caught up in emotions that make it impossible to break ties.
HE WILL NEVER LEAVE HIS WIFE...
HE WILL NEVER LEAVE HIS WIFE...
HE WILL NEVER LEAVE HIS WIFE...


HOW TO CORRECT:
  • Take this opportunity to focus on who you are as a person and what makes YOU happy.
  • Have fun!
    • Hang out with friends. Even if your friends are in relationships, you never know how many secret buddies they may have.
    • Spoil yourself!
    • Paint your toe nails!
    • Get your hair done!
    • Love yourself
    • Discover what you want out of life.

STOP
     FEELING
         DESPERATE!

WRONG RELATIONSHIPS HAPPEN WHEN YOU LOOK,

THE BEST RELATIONSHIPS JUST HAPPEN....

"Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD
(Psalm 27:14)."

#9.
COMPARING YOUR LIFE WITH YOUR GIRLFRIENDS!
  • This seems to be a problem in EVERY area of life.
  • "Comparison IS unhappiness!"
  • Everyone has a different journey in life...accept your journey, LIVE YOUR LIFE!
RISKS ASSOCIATED WITH COMPARISON:
  • Miserable! Miserable! Miserable! We all want to believe that the grass is much greener on the other side, the reality is...it never is....
 HOW TO CORRECT:
  • Open your eyes and recognize that it is human nature for us to see what we do not have. It is only a false perception. For example:
    • If you are single, everyone is married or dating.
    • When you are married, everyone is single.
    • When you have children, no one has children.
    • When you do not have children, everyone has them.
    • LADIES, WHEN YOU GO OUT SHOPPING, IF YOU ARE A SIZE 0, THERE IS NEVER ANYTHING IN YOUR SIZE....BUT SURPRISE!!!!!!
IF YOU ARE A SIZE 10....
ALL YOU WILL RUN INTO ARE THE CUTE OUTFITS FOR SMALL PEOPLE!!!!

WHY???
WHY???
WHY???
 WHY???


GOD HAS A STRANGE SENSE OF HUMOUR.....

"I am not saying this because I am in need,
for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances
(Philippians 4:11)."


 





#8.
PERFECTIONIST!

"Does that hyphen bother you?"
  • No one is perfect, therefore your relationship will never be perfect either.
  • A "perfectionist" can easily find themselves NEVER being in a meaningful relationship because as soon as everything STOPS being perfect...they dip out!

RISKS ASSOCIATED WITH BEING A PERFECTIONIST:
  • A person who is unable to understand that being "perfect" is never going to happen, can become very depressed. They are hard on themselves if they do not achieve the "unrealistic" goals they have set.
  • They lose friends, family and acquaintances because they are quick to shoot down someone when they do something wrong.
HOW TO CORRECT:
  • Tell yourself everyday that you are human. WE ALL MAKE MISTAKES!
  • Never be too hard on yourself if you do not meet your goal. If you are a perfectionist, it is likely that you have set goals that are impossible to accomplish within the short time frame you have given yourself.
  • Always change how you see yourself BEFORE you decide to enter into a relationship.
  • Refusing to acknowledge your perfect problem, will allow you to overlook the "perfect" guy for you.
"To bad you can't change that hyphen...."

THINGS YOU NEVER OVERLOOK IN A GUY:
  • Infidelity
  • Rudeness
  • Jealousy
  • PERFECTIONIST
  • Instability
  • Treating women with disrespect.
  • Only appears to be interested in you "sexually"
  • Never calling you!
  • Men who magically appear and disappear!
THINGS YOU CAN LOOK OVER!
  • A dispute between who had the butter last.
  • Being late meeting you every so often.
  • A quick glance at the cute chick to your left.
  • Him not being perfect.....
"There is no one righteous, not even one
(Romans 3:10)."



#7.
YOU ARE CURRENTLY WITH A MAN
WHO DOES NOT WANT YOU!
  • Never waste your time on a person who does not value you.
  • If a man is not willing to make you a priority in their life, than it is time to move one.




SIGNS A MAN DOES NOT WANT YOU:
  • He is currently involve in another relationship.
  • He knows magic too much. One day he is there, then for the next two days you have no ideal where he went.
  • You feel "alone" within the relationship.
  • "I will call you later....I love you...." Only it has been 3 days and no phone call.
HOW TO CORRECT:
  • There is no other way to say this....IF YOU FEEL LIKE YOUR RELATIONSHIP IS NOT GOING SOMEWHERE, IT IS GOING NO WHERE....
WALK AWAY....
     WALK AWAY....
         WALK AWAY....
             WALK AWAY....




YOU ARE A GENIUS!
This should not be a secret to anyone, but yes!
Certain men are VERY intimidated by specific females.

LIST OF "MALE" INTIMIDATION FACTORS:
  • Intelligence
    • Some times men just do not appreciate a woman who is smarter than him.
  • Beauty
    • Beautiful women can be unapproachable or "out of their league."
    • A man may take one glance at a beautiful woman and feel they do not have a chance, they can not afford you or they assume you are already in a relationship.
  • Career oriented
    • Egocentric men always need to make more money in the household.
    • Many marriages are sacrificed because of this "ego."
Male ego perspective:


"If she is making more money than me....
What can I possibly provide a woman like YOU?"


HOW TO CORRECT:
  • This is nothing you should correct. Be confident, sexy AND daring!
  • Always be who you are!
  • If a man can not accept you for who you are, someone will. Not every man is lacking self-confidence to this sad extent.
  • And to the fellas who are reading this, It is far better to be wanted than needed.



#5. 
YOU SMELL FUNNY..???

BAD HYGIENE IS:
  • Bad breath
  • Not showering
  • Never combing your hair
  • The constant get out of bed look, only you didn't get out bed, you just look that way!!!!


Why do I have to explain this again?



RISKS ASSOCIATED WITH IMPROPER HYGIENE:
  • You would not want a smelly unkempt man....why should he desire you...?
It goes both ways!

SIGNS YOU MAY HAVE BAD HYGIENE:
  • People generally speak to you from an unrealistic distance.
  • Everyone prefers to speak to you via phone.
  • You are constantly being offered gum or candy.
  • Your last birthday gift was a box of perfume.
  • You can't get a date....
HOW TO CORRECT:




  • Take a bath
  • Wash your hair
  • Dare I say throw on a bit of perfume?



    #4.
    YOU CHEW WITH YOUR MOUTH OPEN!

    et·i·quette (definition from google dictionary)
     The customary code of polite behavior in society or among members of a particular profession or group.

    • It is not okay for a gentleman OR  a lady to lack proper etiquette.
    • It is rude, disgusting and a complete turn off.
    • No one wants to date a person who does the following at all...especially within the first 24 hrs of meeting:
      • Belching
      • Farting
      • Grabbing your dates food off of their plate
      • Gulping
      • Spitting
      • Sprawled out on the dinner table????
    RISKS ASSOCIATED WITH IMPROPER ETIQUETTE:

    THIS IS BASIC MATH:
    BAD + ETIQUETTE = BAD ETIQUETTE.
    BAD ETIQUETTE +DATE = BAD DATE
    BAD DATE + YOU = SINGLE.

    GOT IT?


    HOW TO CORRECT:
    The previous list under #4 symbolizes bad etiquette....DO NOT DO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!






    #3.
     SPILLING OUT YOUR PAST DIRTY SECRETS/FAMILY!


    • Sometimes it is just too soon to reveal all of your emotional problems:
      • "I have a very crappy family...they are the reason why my last relationship did not last."
      • "I slept with him."
      • "I feel insecure about my life!"
      • "I use to date girls...." WAIT! WAIT! WAIT!!! You actually may want to mention this. Guys enjoy this talk....

    RISKS ASSOCIATED WITH OPENING YOUR MOUTH AT THE WRONG TIME:

    ARE YOU STILL SINGLE?????
    PROBABLY....

    HOW TO CORRECT:
    • Give it some time before you reveal your bad qualities.
    • The foundation of a relationship is built on "happy" times. Create "happy" times because that is what will get you through the "bad" times.
    • YOU CAN NOT CREATE BAD TIMES AND WAIT FOR THE GOOD...RELATIONSHIPS NEVER WORK THIS WAY....
    Unless he is SUPER hot....

    #2.
    DRESSING LIKE A MAN!
    • Let's be real for a moment. If you look like a man and you are looking for a man...Why would he want you, if he is attracted to women?
    • STOP THE FOLLOWING IMMEDIATELY:
      • Dressing in the guy section
      • Wearing baggy clothes
      • Boy hair cuts
      • Using male mannerisms
      • Sitting with your legs gaped open.
      • Never wear a tuxedo!!!!!
    RISKS ASSOCIATED WITH DRESSING LIKE A MAN:
    • No risks associated, the men you are attracted to will probably NEVER date you...BECAUSE THEY WANT TO BE WITH A WOMAN.....
    • You will probably get a girlfriend instead.
    • Men are likely to mistake you for a man if you look like one. Unless they are gay or bisexual...why would they want to date you?
    HOW TO CORRECT:
    • Go to your nearest girlie girl and BEG for help!
    • ASK a professional hairstylist!
    • ASK a lady at the mall!
    • ASK ASK ASK!
    • email redefiningthefobinamerica@gmail.com
    • Depending on how severe your situation is this may take a LOT of work. BUT, if you want a man, you must STOP being one.

    #1.
    YOU ARE A MAN!
    • There are some lovely transvestites (in fact, some of you should give the ladies who have a butch issue, some advice) but if you were born a man...you may want to tell the guy you are dating.....
    Straight men generally do not like this kind of surprise....

    "Let the lying lips be put to silence
     (Psalm 31:38)."

    Note:

    If you need help revealing to your new significant other that you were born a man...This is a straight Jerry Springer issue. I am sorry, you will have to contact the show, this problem has gone BEYOND MY HELP....

    Contact Jerry....


    Here is a quick view of what may happen....

    GOOD LUCK!



    Written by: Te-Shandra Haskett, MBA

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