HOW TO DEAL WITH "SPECIAL" PEOPLE?
There are many negative and spiteful individuals who exist. We wish they would go away, but sometimes this is not possible, especially if they are a coworker or a family member. Many people are probably hoping that I write a blog full of revenge techniques. I will....just not today. However, if you read this entire blog, it may change the way you think or, change your life.
NEGATIVE (neg-uh-tiv)1.bad, contradictory
WHY ARE SOME PEOPLE NEGATIVE?
- BECAUSE THEY FEEL EXTRAORDINARILY INSECURE. THE NEGATIVITY DIRECTED TOWARDS YOU, HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU, BUT EVERYTHING TO DO WITH THEM.
Confused? If you have ever been the subject of teasing and constant put downs by family, friends or even strangers...this statement may seem inaccurate. Human nature tells us, that those who show cruelty to another without a cause, hate the person they are directing their abuse towards. THIS IS NOT TRUE. It is the complete opposite. When someone calls you stupid, dumb, inadequate, or not good enough, they actually feel this way about themselves. Putting a person down is a common way for a negative person to feel uplifted...if only for a moment. Misery loves company. These people usually come from an environment where the same horrible things they say to you, is the same thing someone else said about them. The definition of bully suggests that "bullies" only pick on those who weaker. This is where I object. The individual they are being destructive towards, may be very kind and caring. Kindness is often mistaken for weakness.
- BEING KIND IS NOT A FORM OF WEAKNESS.
"A man who is kind benefits himself, but a cruel man hurts himself
- ALWAYS KILL THEM WITH KINDNESS
"If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head
PEOPLE WHO ARE NEGATIVE TOWARDS OTHERS ARE BULLIES
BULLY ( bul·ly)
1. A person who is habitually cruel or overbearing, especially to smaller or weaker people. (SEE REFERENCES BELOW FOR MORE DETAILS).
Bullies always have targets, usually multiple individuals, each having characteristics the bully feels they do not have.
BOTH SIDES ARE VICTIMS....
The bully, suffers from extreme insecurity. They hate themselves and are somehow convinced that being cruel to another person, will make them feel better. Obviously this practice does not work since bullying is done consistently. Hanging out with a person who makes you feel low and worthless will eventually destroy you. This relationship needs to be distant or completely severed. A person can not sustain a happy and healthy life being the victim of constant criticism. If you are a child, find a trusted adult to help with these issues. But, if the negativity is coming from your parents, with no indication of changing, eventually distance will become the only solution. This is not easy to do, but is necessary. Parents are extremely influential throughout a child's life. Not distancing oneself from this toxic environment will always ruin lives. Anyone who comes in contact with the abused will suffer as well.
SIDE NOTE: Children are generally very insecure. During school, many will entertain during the act of bullying.This behavior usually happens because children become very fearful that the bully will turn on them. It becomes a matter of self preservation.
However, school authorities are notorious for ignoring the reality of situations. If you are an outsider and you do not feel comfortable standing up for the person or child that is being bullied, find someone who will help.
TO THE BULLIED: ADULTS, CHILDREN, MEN, WOMEN, AND CHILDREN....
It is time to step back and realize that when a person is being negative towards you, it has ZERO to do with you. If someone is calling you bad names, this is not a reflection of who you are, but HOW THEY FEEL ABOUT THEMSELVES. I encourage both adults and children to seek help...immediately. Please understand:
THE NEGATIVE THINGS PEOPLE SAY ABOUT YOU, HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU!
Written By: Te-Shandra Haskett, MBA
Author's Note: It was not until after I had this understanding that I was able to truly forgive many of the people who hurt me. Now, I find myself feeling compassion towards them. If you are taking this from a Christian point of view (It is fine if you are not, I have no right to judge, but the same principles may help.), REMEMBER:
18 “If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated me first. 19 If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world. That is why the world hates you. 20 Remember what I told you: ‘A servant is not greater than his master.’[a] If they persecuted me, they will persecute you also. If they obeyed my teaching, they will obey yours also. 21 They will treat you this way because of my name, for they do not know the one who sent me ( John 15:18-21)."
I am not sure how many people may actually read this article that I formally knew, but if you happen to come across my article and remember me, please forgive me, because sometimes we can hurt people, unintentionally. We are all human, none of us perfect.
Please forward to anyone special to you....
- ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIPS AND WHY THEY STAY!
- TODAY'S TEEN GAL...MY PARENTS JUST DON'T GET IT!
- LOVE LETTERS TO MY BULLIES...
- BULLYING INTERNATIONAL HELP HERE!