Today I was planning to completely write about something
different, but I suddenly had a change of heart. Instead, I have
decided to share my personal feelings about love, with the hope of explaining to
others, the true meaning of love.
Many people are extremely confused about what love is. “How
do I know if I am in love” is the most common question I have heard.
Well, while I cannot tell you who your life partner should be, I can tell you the true definition of love.
You can take it….or leave it.
First, I would like to say that the relationship with my higher power is the most significant one. And a close second, would be my husband. And whenever we decide to have a child, our
marriage will still always come first. No
questions asked. Now you may be thinking to yourself “How can you say that if
you do not have kids yet. Your feelings may change.” As I have stated before,
wisdom does not require me to walk through the fire to know that I will get
burned. My husband is an awesome person and I will always choose our marriage
over anything else. Why? Because, I want to but most importantly" that was the way it was meant to be." Love comes in different forms. The feelings that you have for your spouse,
should not be the same feelings you have towards your child (it would be kind
of gross if you really think about it). YOUR SPOUSE IS YOUR LIFE PARTNER, NOT
YOUR CHILDREN. They are a blessing, and should never be conceived for saving a marriage (which NEVER works, check out all of the children of divorced parents), competition, or simply because you want someone to love you. Once you are a parent you will always be one, but, a good
parent will eventually let their child go. You may have raised them, but children are not property.
"Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one's youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them! He shall not be put to shame when he speaks with his enemies in the gate
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| She did not give birth to these kittens...But look at the love! |
The key to a happy family is a happy marriage. Believe me
when I say that putting your child in front of your marriage is a disaster waiting to happen. When one
parent says no, a child will automatically
go to the other parent to see if they will say yes. Children do not mean any
harm by doing this, they are just being kids. An unhappy marriage equates to
unhappy children. And since you claim that you love your child so much, wouldn’t you want them
to be happy?
“For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and
be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh (Matthew 19:5).”
Wait, but that is not the end, “I care for my nieces as I
would if I had a child.” At this point some people who are reading this are
probably thinking… “There is no way you would be able to tell how you feel
until you have your own child.” You know what, that is an absolutely correct
statement, however, people seem to not understand that love is not just a
feeling, it is a CHOICE. I know I will be that way because I CHOOSE to. Regardless of how I may feel about my own future child, I have chosen to
treat them in the same respect and manner that I would treat my own.
And, if you happen to believe in the second commandment, which is “love your neighbor
as yourself,” then you would have to agree that loving other people, is a part
of loving yourself. I challenge you to ask yourself, what harm is it to
actually show love to another person? Is it really bad in choosing to love
a child as you would your own? No, it is not. You can never go
wrong in loving another individual. There are so many children who do not have anyone to love them. So, why not you? And just because the love is not recipricated, does not mean you love less....it means....you love them more. So, when people ask me in the future "is this
your first child?" I will probably respond….no….I have a few others.
“Beloved, let us
love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God
and knows God. Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love (1
John 4:7-8).”
Love is not just a
feeling …It is a choice. Some people are
harder to love than others, but remember, loving someone does not mean you have to like them. And if you can choose hate,
then you can choose love.
"You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all
your soul, and all your mind.’ 38 This is the first and greatest commandment.
39 A second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself (Matthew
22:37-39).”
Of course, the ultimate example of love was this:
“Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his
life for his friends (John 15:13).”
Te-Shandra Haskett, MBA
I am hoping that this is too small to see, but I may
actually love my animals more…..:o))
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| Beautiful!!! Green is totally his color. |
Authors Note: Love is one of the greatest gift that another person can give. It is very unfortunate
that many people do not understand the definition of love. Perhaps that is why they have so many issues with family
relationships. Some parents often destroy the extra love their child can get,
out of selfishness and anger. And unfortunately, it is the innocent children that suffers the most. The mistakes of parents often
lead to the destruction of key meaningful relationships that would be vital for
their children. Remember the story of Adam and Eve? Children will suffer from the mistakes that their
parents make…..but if we loved one another as we should....maybe it could be the solution to some of our problems......Just think about it....
"Love is patient and kind;
love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on
its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at
wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all
things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends. As for
prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for
knowledge, it will pass away (1 Corinthians 13:4-8)."
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